THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE
By Tom W. Harris
Television is a swell way of projecting
ideas to an audience. But Archy created chaos
when he used it to project real live monsters!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
December 1957
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
For over two weeks, the projections were a national emergency, and thenation got pretty sore at Archy House.
Archy was on camera when it happened. He always closed the Home Hour inperson, partly because nobody else did it quite as well, partly becauseit flattered the audience to see him.
His delivery was almost shaken, the night the thing happened, by theappearance of Otto Kahler, chief engineer, just out of camera-range,his hair in his eyes and a wildness about his mouth.
Arch closed his patter smoothly, set a smile through fadeout, andturned to Kahler.
"What's up, Otto? You look like a ghost that saw a ghost." He letannoyance enter his voice. He was surrounded by the best men moneycould buy, and sometimes they ran around like children.
"The scrambler blew," said Otto. "Somebody spilled a pail of water onit."
In an office a phone began ringing. "Mr. House," somebody shouted,"it's the White House calling."
Archy gave Otto a shove. "Dammit, man, switch on the auxiliary. Do Ihave to tell you?" Otto just stood there as Archy turned and yelledinto the confusion off the set, "Tell Washington I'll be right with'em."
His eye swept the studio. "Where's June Manning?"
Even in this tight moment, his breath gave the familiar balloon-lurchas Full-Projection Studio's top writer glided from the directors'studio in her blue sheathe gown. Her wheat-blonde hair was dressed inthe latest style, a yard-long, loose-braided hank slung richly over hershoulder; and her face was part cherubic, part perverse.
Another phone began ringing.
"June, I want a 30-second yak to give the viewers. You have 90 secondsto get it on idiot cards; I'm going on with it right after the stationbreak. The scramblers failed. Gimme something soothing to say. Got it?"
She nodded and marched off. Otto cleared his throat. Archy spun. "Whatare you waiting for? Get switched to auxiliary! We've got projectionsprancing around living rooms in every suburb in the country."
Another phone was ringing. "General Cox for Mr. House," somebodyyelled. "Calling from Hawaii."
Archy wished these jackasses would all drop dead. He shook Otto.
"I tried the auxiliary," said Otto. "It's out."
"Holy volts," said Archy.
For the first time in his life he felt desperate. A cool head and ahabit of never being wrong had got him where he was—founder and topbanana of Full-Projection, sole owner of three TV networks using therevolutionary 3-D devices perfected by Otto Kahler and patented byArchy. In the present emergency, he tried to keep his head still cooland continue to never be wrong.
A stagehand was running a phone out onto the set. Waiting, Archysnapped instructions at Otto—put half the staff to trying to getthe scramblers operating, set the other half to slapping together anemergency machine. Otto dashed off and the phone was slapped intoArchy's hand.
"Yes, Ben," he said assuringly to the President of the United States."What can I do for you?"
"You can get those projections out of my living room," snappedthe president. "They're still doing their acts from the circus