Transcriber’s Note:
The cover has been created by the transcriber using the actual cover from the book and the title page. This new cover is placed in the public domain.
Please see the detailed transcriber’s note at the end of this book.
NUGGETS FOR TRAVELLERS
English Anecdotes
NUGGETS FOR TRAVELLERS
Uniform with this volume, price 1s. each
Scottish Jests and Anecdotes
Irish Jests and Anecdotes
Collected from
VARIOUS SOURCES
WILLIAM PATERSON
14 Clyde Street, Edinburgh
ENGLISH ANECDOTES.
LACHRYMAL CANALS.
A lady who kept a boarding-school some years ago,near London, wrote a novel, in which, among otherextravagant expressions, occurred the following:—“HisLordship could not weep; the tale of sorrowhad frozen his lachrymal canals.” A person to whomthe fair author lent a copy of her work, returned it,after a perusal, with this note appended in pencil tothe word canals: “Madam, I am a keen skater;would they bear?”
THE DUCHESS OF NEWCASTLE.
This famous lady, who wrote many plays andromances, in the most extravagant taste of the reignof Charles II., asked Bishop Wilkins, how she couldget up to the world he had discovered in the moon;for, as the way must needs be long, a person travellingthither would require to have some resting places bythe way? “Oh, madam,” said the bishop, “yourgrace, who has built so many castles in the air, can beat no loss.”
PENNANT’S ANTIPATHY TO WIGS.
Mr. Pennant had an unaccountable antipathy towigs. Dining at Chester with an officer who wore awig, when they had drunk pretty freely, he, after muchimpatience, and many wistful looks, started up, seized[2]the wig, and threw it into the fire. It was in flamesin a moment, and so was the officer, who ran to hissword. Down stairs flew Pennant, and the officerafter him, through all the streets of Chester. ButPennant escaped from superior local knowledge.This a wag called Pennant’s Tour in Chester.
A LINE FOR THE OTHER WORLD.
A felon who was just on the point of being turnedoff, asked the hangman if he had any message to sendto the place where he was going? “I will troubleyou with a line,” replied the finisher of the law,placing the cord under his left ear.
WIT AND THE OPPOSITE.
Dryden and Otway lived opposite to each other inQueen Street. Otway coming one night from thetavern, chalked upon Dryden’s door, “Here livesJohn Dryden; he is a wit.” Dryden knew his handwriting,and, next day, chalked on Otway’s door,“Here lives Tom Otway; he is oppo-site.”
PURGATORY.
“With regard to purgatory,” says an old popishwriter, “with regard to purgatory, I will not say agreat deal; but this much I think,—that the Protestantsmay go farther, and fare worse.”
GREED IN LETTERS.
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