TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: Apart from a few punctuation corrections, noother changes have been made in the text.
THE INVENTIONS
OF THE IDIOT
by
JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
Author of "A House-Boat on the Styx"
"The Pursuit of the House-Boat"
"Olympian Nights"
Etc. Etc.
New York and London
Harper & Brothers Publishers
1904
Copyright, 1903, by Harper & Brothers.
All rights reserved.
Published April, 1904
TO
YOU
Contents
| CHAPTER | PAGE | |
| I. | The Culinary Guild | 1 |
| II. | A Suggestion for the Cable-cars | 16 |
| III. | The Transatlantic Trolley Company | 31 |
| IV. | The Incorporation of the Idiot | 47 |
| V. | University Extension | 64 |
| VI. | Social Expansion | 79 |
| VII. | A Beggar's Hand-book | 96 |
| VIII. | Progressive Waffles | 112 |
| IX. | A Clearing-house for Poets | 127 |
| X. | Some Electrical Suggestions | 142 |
| XI. | Concerning Children | 158 |
| XII. | Dreamaline | 172 |
THE INVENTIONS OF THE IDIOT
I
The Culinary Guild
It was before the Idiot's marriage, and in the days when he was nothingmore than a plain boarder in Mrs. Smithers-Pedagog's High-class Home forSingle Gentlemen, that he put what the School-master termed his "allegedmind" on plans for the amelioration of the condition of the civilized.
"The trials of the barbarian are really no
...