PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Volume 108, May 18th, 1895.
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
HOP PROSPECTS.
Said Pulex the Skipper to Miss Cicada, "Do you expect a good HoppingSeason this year?"
ODE TO A (LONDON) "LARK."
(Some Way after Quisquis.)
Oh, "lark," which all the "Comiques" sing,
And every drunken rowdy pup, too;
Sure you're a vicious, vulgar thing
As ever toper swigged a cup to.
Hints of the boozy and the blue
Surround you; sodden brains you soften;
Yet rhymsters make a song of you,
And rowdies sing it—far too often.
The aim of every loose-lipped lout
Appears to be to "lark" divinely;
When from his haunts he gets chucked out,
He deems his "spree" has ended finely.
He tracks the "lark"—aye, "like a bird,"
Upon the turf, among its "daisies";
But, by sweet Shelley, 'tis absurd,
Foul bird of prey, to pipe your praises!
A Kind Offer.—A lady who is not wellup in Parliamentary matters writes to ussaying that she has seen mentioned in thepapers "Mr. Speaker's Retirement Bill,"and would very much like to know what theamount is. Her admiration for the lateSpeaker is so great that, our fair correspondentgoes on to say, she would willinglydefray the whole amount herself, or if thetotal be too much for her pocket, then wouldshe cheerfully head a subscription list.She is perfectly certain that Mr. Peel wasa very moderate man, and therefore the entiresum cannot be very startling.
RATHER "BOLD ADVERTISEMENT."
["Advertisements for some time past have been inserted in Governmentpublications."—Daily Paper.]
Scene—Room of a Secretary of State. Present Right Hon.Gentleman attended by his Private Secretary.
Right Hon. Gentleman. Well, Tenterfore, anything for me thismorning?
Private Secretary. I think not. You will find that I have workedout the answers to to-day's questions—the list is not a very heavyone, only a couple of dozen queries or thereabouts.
Rt. Hon. Gent. That's right. Such a lot of time is wasted in thatsort of thing. And has anyone come for me?
Priv. Sec. No one of importance. A fellow with a new inventionor something of that sort. Said you were extremely busy just now,but that if he would write, his letter would receive the attention ofthe department.
Rt. Hon. Gent. Was he satisfied?
Priv. Sec. (smiling). Well, I fear not entirely. I think he musthave had some experience of Government offices. He said he preferredto see you personally.
Rt. Hon. Gent. (amused). I daresay he would. Anyone else?
Priv. Sec. Only a man about advertisements.
Rt. Hon. Gent. (aghast). You did not se