PEOPLE SOUP
By ALAN ARKIN
Illustrated by JOHNSON
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Magazine November 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
When you took pot luck with this kitchen
scientist, not even the poor pot was lucky!
Bonnie came home from school and found her brother in the kitchen,doing something important at the sink. She knew it was importantbecause he was making a mess and talking to himself. The sink drainwas loaded down with open soda bottles, a sack of flour, corn meal,dog biscuits, molasses, Bromo-Seltzer, a tin of sardines and a box ofsoap chips. The floor was covered with drippings and every cupboard inthe kitchen was open. At the moment, Bonnie's brother was putting allhis energy into shaking a plastic juicer that was half-filled with anominous-looking, frothy mixture.
Bonnie waited for a moment, keeping well out of range, and then said,"Hi, Bob."
"Lo," he answered, without looking up.
"Where's Mom?"
"Shopping."
Bonnie inched a little closer. "What are you doing, Bob?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Can I watch?"
"No."
Bonnie took this as a cue to advance two cautious steps. She knew fromexperience how close she could approach her brother when he was beingcreative and still maintain a peaceful neutrality. Bob slopped a cupfulof ketchup into the juicer, added a can of powdered mustard, a drop ofmilk, six aspirin and a piece of chewing gum, being careful to spill apart of each package used.
Bonnie moved in a bit closer. "Are you making another experiment?" sheasked.
"Who wants to know?" Bob answered, in his mad-scientist voice, as heswaggered over to the refrigerator and took out an egg, some old baconfat, a capsuled vitamin pill, yesterday's Jello and a bottle of clamjuice.
"Me wants to know," said Bonnie, picking up an apple that had rolledout of the refrigerator and fallen on the floor.
"Why should I tell you?"
"I have a quarter."
"Where'd you get it?"
"Mom gave it to me."
"If you give it to me, I'll tell you what I'm doing."
"It's not worth it."
"I'll let you be my assistant, too."
"Still not worth it."
"For ten cents?"
"Okay, ten cents."
She counted out the money to her brother and put on an apron. "Whatshould I do now, Bob?"
"Get the salt," Bob instructed.
He poured sardine oil from the can into the juicer, being very carefulnot to let the sardines fall in. When he had squeezed the last drop ofoil out of the can, he ate all the sardines and tossed the can into thesink.
Bonnie went after the salt and, when she lifted out the box, she founda package containing two chocolate graham crackers.
"Mom has a new hiding place, Bob," she announced.
Bob looked up. "Where is it?"
"Behind the salt."
"What did you find there?"
"Two chocolate grahams."
Bobby held out his hand, accepted one of the crackers without thanksand proceeded to crumble the whole thing into his concoction, not evenstopping to lick the chocolate off his hands.
Bonnie frowned in disbelief. She had never seen such self-sacrifice.The act made her aware, for the first time, of the immensesignificance of the experiment.
She dropped her quarrel completely and walked over to the sink to geta good look at what was being done. All she saw in the sink was awadded,