Collector's Item
By EVELYN E. SMITH
Illustrated by EMSH
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Science FictionDecember 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that theU.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
"What I should like to know," Professor Bernardi said, gazing pensivelyafter the lizard-man as he bore the shrieking form of Miss Anspacher offin his scaly arms, "is whether he is planning to eat her or make love toher. Because, in the latter instance, I'm not sure we should interfere.It may be her only chance."
"Carl!" his wife cried indignantly. "That's a horrid thing to say! Youmust rescue her at once!"
"Oh, I suppose so," he said, then gave his wife a nasty little grin thathe knew would irritate her. "It isn't that she's unattractive, my dear,in case you hadn't noticed, though she's pretty well past the bloom ofyouth—"
"Will you stop making leering noises and go save her or not?"
"I was coming to that. It's just that she persists in using her Ph.D. asa club to beat men into respectful pulps. Men don't like being beateninto respectful pulps, whether by a man or a woman. Now if she'd onlylearned that other people have feelings—"
"If you don't stop lecturing and go, I will!" his wife threatened.
"All right, all right," he said wearily. "Come on, Mortland."
The two scientists slogged through the steamy, odorous jungle of Venusand soon reached the lizard-man, who, weighed down by his captive, hadnot been able to travel as fast.
"You blast him," the professor told Mortland. "Try not to hit MissAnspacher, if you can manage it."
"Er—I've never fired one of these things before," Mortland said. "Can'tstand having my eardrums blasted. However, here goes." He pointed hisweapon at the lizardlike creature in a gingerly manner. "Ah—hands up,"he ordered. "Only fair to give the—well, blighter a sporting chance,"he explained to Professor Bernardi.
To their amazement, the lizard-man promptly dropped Miss Anspacher intothe lavender-colored mud and put up his hands. Miss Anspacher gave anindignant yelp.
"Seems intelligent in spite of the kidnaping," Mortland commented. "Buthow does he happen to understand English? We're the only expedition everto have reached Venus ... that I know of, anyway." He and the professorstared at each other in consternation. "There may have been a secretexpedition previously and perhaps they left a—a base or something,which would explain why—"
"If you two oafs would stop speculating, you might help me out ofhere!" Miss Anspacher remarked in her customary snappish tone. ProfessorBernardi leaped forward to obey. "You don't have to pull quite so hard!I haven't taken root yet!" She came out of the mud with a sound like twowhales kissing. She brushed hopelessly at her once-white blouse andshorts. "Oh, dear, I look a mess!"
Professor Bernardi did not comment, being engaged in slapping at a smallwinged creature—about the size of a