A Man-Sized Pet
It was an incongruous group that sat around the rough pine table inMagpie Simpkins’s cabin, and played pitch by the light of an old smokykerosene lamp.
Magpie Simpkins, six feet two, slender to the point of emaciation,with the face of a scholar above his walrus-like mustache, sat therepeering at his cards through the only pair of glasses on SleepingCreek.
Magpie had been to Missoula a short time before and at the earnestsolicitation of an optician had purchased a pair of glasses, sans bows,which he fastened to his person through the medium of a wide silkribbon. At the present time he wore the ribbon around his neck forsafety.
Tellurium Woods, the second of the trio, was as fat as any outdoorman could ever expect to be, and his bald head and luxuriant brown beardgave one the impression of looking at a billiard ball on a rug.Tellurium affected buckskin shirts of his own manufacture and design,and it was impossible to tell, at the neck, just where the shirt leftoff and the skin began.
Bantie Weyman was the exact opposite of the others. He was about fivefeet two inches in height and would weigh about a hundred. He had asoprano voice, a gold tooth, and took baths. In the latter he differedfrom any one else on the range.
Bantie wasn’t exactly a man’s man but he did a man’s work on hisclaim in Bear Gulch and claimed to be the champion sourdough bread-makerof the world. Bantie was timid—so timid that he wouldn’t pack a gun, andthe only armament of his cabin consisted of a .22 rifle with a sectionof cleaning-rod broken off inside the barrel.
These three represented the social column of Sleeping Creek. Theircabins were situated within a radius of two miles, and in order to keepup the social life of the district they had instituted a private pitchclub—two bits a corner and ten cents set back. The three were toalternate as hosts.
At this, their first session, there was a fourth party present. Itseemed very much interested in the hands held by Bantie, much toBantie’s embarrassment and to the huge delight of the others. Bantieplayed the jack of diamonds and snorted loudly as Magpie took it withthe queen and a chuckle.
“Magpie, yuh got to put that bear outside!” he shrilled. “He gits hisdanged nose in m’ ear and I don’t know whether I’m playin’ th’ jack orth’ ace! I got th’ ace—see? By golly! That sets me back three and costsme ten cents! I ain’t goin’ to riffle another card until yuh puts thatemblem uh California out in th’ shed, sabe?”
“Haw! Haw!” roared Tellurium. “Be uh man, Bantie. That pore li’lgrizzly won’t hurt yuh. Look at him! He’s plumb heart-broke over themwords, Bantie. While yore uh fair—jist fair—pitch player, Bantie, yuhlacks something. If yuh was simply sloppy with th’ milk uh humankindness like me and Magpie you’d git uh pet.”
“That ultimatum,” replied Bantie, “covers that wolf uh yours underth’ bunk, Tellurium. Every time I turns to spit I got to look into hisshinin’ eyes. Don’t th’ loafer never sleep?”
“Well,” grinned Tellurium, “he ain’t no regular Rip Van Winkle, buthe’s tame—tame enough fer uh man. I believes in uh man-sized pet and ferthat reason I cottons to th’ wolf. Uh course he’s only good fer uh grownman.”
Bantie grunted and put on his coat.
“My re-marks goes as she lays,” he stated. “I don’t play with nodanged menagerie. It’s bad enough to be whip