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Punch, Or the London Charivari
Volume 107, November 24, 1894
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
THE HAYMARKET HEROINE.
A THRILLING MOMENT; OR, GO IN AND WYNN.
The Rev. Stephen Wynn startled by a Woman with a good many Tails about her!
Says Mrs. Patrick Campbell, "Wasn't I a quite first ranker, eh?
As A. Pinero's—the Pinero's—Second Mrs. Tanqueray?
We know that reputations great have often been, and are made,
By such a part, but not by Mister Arthur Jones's barmaid.
Though then there was a chance when both the men began to gamble;
Yet—no—I never cared for it," quoth Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
"When at the T. R. H. I feared, and so did Mr. Tree,
That Haddon Chambers hadn't an apartment fit for me.
Kate Cloud is rather hazy; but they said 'there will for you be "bus,"'
(Theatrical for 'business')—which seems to me in nubibus.
For I'm a shady heroine of squalor not romance,
For passion and emotion I have barely got a chance.
I'm in a yacht both first and last, and what becomes of me
I am not very certain, and no more is Mr. Tree,
As at the finish both of us are thoroughly at sea.
For the villain there's Charles Cartwright, and, speaking for myself, I
Preferred him when, more villainous, he was at the Adelphi.
They talk a deal of Pat-mos (a name that sounds like two),
A mixture of Hibernian that's 'Pat' with 'Moss,' He-brew,
This coupled too with John-a-Dreams,—of course there's no offence
Intended, yet it has a smack of some irreverence.
The play's successful to a point, the critics say 'no doubt of it,'
But were I Mister Tree I would cut thirty minutes out of it.
I finish with no postscript, I commenced with no preamble,
And sign myself devotedly, your Paula Patrick Campbell."
As A. Pinero's—the Pinero's—Second Mrs. Tanqueray?
We know that reputations great have often been, and are made,
By such a part, but not by Mister Arthur Jones's barmaid.
Though then there was a chance when both the men began to gamble;
Yet—no—I never cared for it," quoth Mrs. Patrick Campbell.
"When at the T. R. H. I feared, and so did Mr. Tree,
That Haddon Chambers hadn't an apartment fit for me.
Kate Cloud is rather hazy; but they said 'there will for you be "bus,"'
(Theatrical for 'business')—which seems to me in nubibus.
For I'm a shady heroine of squalor not romance,
For passion and emotion I have barely got a chance.
I'm in a yacht both first and last, and what becomes of meI am not very certain, and no more is Mr. Tree,
As at the finish both of us are thoroughly at sea.
For the villain there's Charles Cartwright, and, speaking for myself, I
Preferred him when, more villainous, he was at the Adelphi.
They talk a deal of Pat-mos (a name that sounds like two),
A mixture of Hibernian that's 'Pat' with 'Moss,' He-brew,
This coupled too with John-a-Dreams,—of course there's no offence
Intended, yet it has a smack of some irreverence.
The play's successful to a point, the critics say 'no doubt of it,'
But were I Mister Tree I would cut thirty minutes out of it.
I finish with no postscript, I commenced with no preamble,
And sign myself devotedly, your Paula Patrick Campbell."
...