My Fair Planet
By EVELYN E. SMITH
Illustrated by DILLON
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Science FictionMarch 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that theU.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
As Paul Lambrequin was clambering up the stairs of his rooming house, hemet a man whose face was all wrong. "Good evening," Paul said politelyand was about to continue on his way when the man stopped him.
"You are the first person I have encountered in this place who has notshuttered at the sight of me," he said in a toneless voice with anaccent that was outside the standard repertoire.
"Am I?" Paul asked, bringing himself back from one of the roseate dreamswith which he kept himself insulated from a not-too-kind reality. "Idaresay that's because I'm a bit near-sighted." He peered vaguely atthe stranger. Then he recoiled.
"What is incorrect about me, then?" the stranger demanded. "Do I nothave two eyes, one nose and one mouth, the identical as other people?"
Paul studied the other man. "Yes, but somehow they seem to be puttogether all wrong. Not that you can help it, of course," he addedapologetically, for, when he thought of it, he hated to hurt people'sfeelings.
"Yes, I can, for, of a truth, 'twas I who put myself together. What didI do amiss?"
Paul looked consideringly at him. "I can't quite put my finger on it,but there are certain subtle nuances you just don't seem to have caught.If you want my professional advice, you'll model yourself directly onsome real person until you've got the knack of improvisation."
"Like unto this?" The stranger's outline shimmered and blurred into anamorphous cloud, which then coalesced into the shape of a tall,beautiful young man with the face of an ingenuous demon. "Behold, isthat superior?"
"Oh, far superior!" Paul reached up to adjust a stray lock of hair, thenrealized he was not looking into a mirror. "Trouble is—well, I'd ratheryou chose someone else to model yourself on. You see, in my profession,it's important to look as unique as possible; helps people remember you.I'm an actor, you know. Currently I happen to be at liberty, but theyear before last—"
"Well, whom should I appear like? Should I perhaps pick some fineupstanding figure from your public prints to emulate? Like yourPresident, perhaply?"
"I—hardly think so. It wouldn't do to model yourself on someone wellknown—or even someone obscure whom you might just happen to run intosomeday." Being a kind-hearted young man, Paul added, "Come up to myroom. I have some British film magazines and there are lots ofrelatively obscure English actors who are very decent-looking chaps."
So they climbed up to Paul's hot little room under the eaves and, afterleafing through several magazines, Paul chose one Ivo Darcy as a likelycandidate. Whereupon the stranger deliquesced and reformed into thepersonable simulacrum of young Mr. Darcy.
"That's quite a trick," Paul observed as it finally got through to himwhat the other had done. "It would come in handy in the profession—forcharacter parts, you know."
"I fear you would never be able to acquisition it," the stranger said,surveying his new self in the mirror complacently. "It is not a trickbut a racial ableness. You see, I feel I can trust you—"
"—Of course I'm not really a character actor; I'm a leading man, but Ibelieve one should be versatile, becau