Jack of No Trades
By EVELYN E. SMITH
Illustrated by CAVAT
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy October 1955.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright
on this publication was renewed.]
I was psick of Psi powers, not having any. Or didn't I? Maybe they'dpsee otherwise psomeday!
I walked into the dining room and collided with a floating mass offabric, which promptly draped itself over me like a sentient shroud.
"Oh, for God's sake, Kevin!" my middle brother's voice came muffledthrough the folds. "If you can't help, at least don't hinder!"
I managed to struggle out of the tablecloth, even though it seemed tobe trying to wrap itself around me. When Danny got excited, he lost hismental grip.
"I could help," I yelled as soon as I got my head free, "if anybodywould let me and, what's more, I could set the table a damn sightfaster by hand than you do with 'kinesis."
Just then Father appeared at the head of the table. He could as easilyhave walked downstairs as teleported, but I belonged to a family ofexhibitionists. And Father tended to show off as if he were still akid. Not that he looked his age—he was big and blond, like Danny andTim and me, and could have passed for our older brother.
"Boys, boys!" he reproved us. "Danny, you ought to be ashamed ofyourself—picking on poor Kev."
Even if it hadn't been Danny's fault, he would still have been blamed.
Nobody was ever supposed to raise a voice or a hand or a thought topoor afflicted Kev, because nature had picked on me enough. And thenicer everybody was to me, the nastier I became, since only when theylost their tempers could I get—or so I believed—their true attitudetoward me.
How else could I tell?
"Sorry, fella," Dan apologized to me. The tablecloth spread itself outon the table. "Wrinkles," he grumbled to himself. "Wrinkles. And I hadit so nice and smooth before. Mother will be furious."
"If she were going to be furious, she'd be furious already," Fatherreminded him sadly. It must be tough to be married to a deep-probetelepath, I thought, and I felt a sudden wave of sympathy for him. Itwas so seldom I got the chance to feel sorry for anyone except myself."But I think you'll find she understands."
"She knows, all right," Danny remarked as he went on into the kitchen,"but I'm not sure she always understands."
I was surprised to find him so perceptive on the abstract level,because he wasn't what you might call an understanding person, either.
"There are tensions in this room," my sister announced as she slouchedin, not quite awake yet, "and hatred. I could feel them all the wayupstairs. And today I'm working on the Sleepsweet Mattress copy, so Imust feel absolutely tranquil. Everyone will think beautiful thoughts,please."
She sat down just as a glass of orange juice was arriving at herplace; Danny apparently didn't know she'd come in already. The glassbumped into the back of her neck, tilted and poured its contents overher shoulder and down her very considerable decolletage. Being a mereprimitive, I couldn't help laughing.
"Danny, you fumbler!" she screamed.
Danny erupted from the kitchen. "How many times have I asked all of younot to sit down until I've got everything on the table? Always a lot ofinterfering busybodies getting in the way."
"I don't see why you have to set the table at all," she retorted. "Arobot could do it better and faster than you. Even Kev could." She