The Short Snorter
CHARLES EINSTEIN
His saucer was parked in the
woods, and Mr. Steariot (from Venus)
was parked in the lobby....
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Three paths led through the woods away from the resort hotel, and ofthe three two were clearly marked: one with a sign that said it led tothe lake, the other pointing toward the golf links. The third pathwaywas unmarked, and this was the one that inevitably the lovers and thehoneymooners took—the path that Alice and Fred Daniels followed today.
The sun was unusually warm for this time of year, but only a fewyards along the pathway Fred and Alice were swallowed up by the greatand near-great trees of the forest. The sunlight was, except for anoccasional patch of light here and there, warded away by the foliageabove. The forest was very quiet. The pathway bridged a silent brook,and then, perhaps a third of a mile into the woods, turned abruptly tothe left and the woods became even more dense, the pathway narrow.
Through the trees to the right at this point was a clearing, an unusualgrassy circle perhaps sixty yards in diameter. It was not the clearingitself, however, but, instead, the glint of color in the sunlight thatcaused Fred and Alice to stop and look.
Alice said, "Fred, what is that?"
"Don't know," he said. "Something red. Let's look."
The two of them turned off the path and made their way through adismal barrage of thicket to the clearing that lay beyond. When theygot there, they saw the circular object—vehicle might be a betterword. It was possibly fifteen yards in diameter. It seemed to be madeof three rings, smaller ones bottom and top and the larger one ribbingthe center, and to be constructed of some kind of plastic. Between thecentral and upper rings were set a series of small windows. The entirething was painted a gaudy red.
"What do you think it is?" Fred said.
"A flying saucer," Alice said promptly. She laughed a little, butclutched at her husband's arm. "Isn't it?"
"I don't know."
"But what else would it be?"
"I don't know," Fred said again. "Let's look inside."
"Fred," Alice said, "You'd better not—"
"Don't be silly," he said, and walked resolutely up to the object and,standing on tiptoe, peered through one of the windows.
"What is it?" Alice called from the edge of the clearing. "What do yousee?"
"It's empty," he called back.
"What's inside?"
Fred shook his head. "You won't believe it."
"What?"
"It's got a steering wheel," he called out hollowly. "And some dials."
"My goodness," Alice said. "Is it a real one?"
"How do I know?" he said, and rejoined her, casting a series of glancesuncertainly over his shoulder at the bright red saucer behind him."What do you suppose we ought to do?"
"Tell somebody," Alice said. "I suppose."
"Who do we tell?"
"I don't know. There must be somebody—"
They looked almost guiltily at each other. "Nobody'll believe us," Fredsaid.
"Why not?" Alice said. "It's here, isn't it?"
Fred stopped and thought. "Who knows how long it'll stay?"
They looked at each other again. Then Alice said slowly, "If we wentback and got the camera—"
Swiftly, they made their way back toward the hotel through the quietforest. When t