By POUL AND KAREN ANDERSON
Illustrated by WOOD
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Science Fiction July 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
A hayseed Martian among big-planet slickers ... of course
he would get into trouble. But that was nothing compared
to the trouble he would be in if he did not get into trouble!
The visiphone chimed when Peri had just gotten into her dinner gown.She peeled it off again and slipped on a casual bathrobe: a wisp oftranslucence which had set the president of Antarctic Enterprise—orhad it been the chairman of the board?—back several thousand dollars.Then she pulled a lock of lion-colored hair down over one eye, checkedwith a mirror, rumpled it a tiny bit more and wrapped the robe looselyon top and tight around the hips.
After all, some of the men who knew her private number were important.
She undulated to the phone and pressed its Accept. "Hello-o, there,"she said automatically. "So sorry to keep you waiting. I was justtaking a bath and—Oh. It's you."
Gus Doran's prawnlike eyes popped at her. "Holy Success," he whisperedin awe. "You sure the wires can carry that much voltage?"
"Well, hurry up with whatever it is," snapped Peri. "I got a datetonight."
"I'll say you do! With a Martian!"
Peri narrowed her silver-blue gaze and looked icily at him. "You musthave heard wrong, Gus. He's the heir apparent of Indonesia, Inc.,that's who, and if you called up to ask for a piece of him, you canjust blank right out again. I saw him first!"
Doran's thin sharp face grinned. "You break that date, Peri. Put it offor something. I got this Martian for you, see?"
"So? Since when has all Mars had as much spending money as one big-timemarijuana rancher? Not to mention the heir ap—"
"Sure, sure. But how much are those boys going to spend on any girl,even a high-level type like you? Listen, I need you just for tonight,see? This Martian is strictly from gone. He is here on officialbusiness, but he is a yokel and I do mean hayseed. Like he asked mewhat the Christmas decorations in all the stores were! And here is thesolar nexus of it, Peri, kid."
Doran leaned forward as if to climb out of the screen. "He has got ahundred million dollars expense money, and they are not going to audithis accounts at home. One hundred million good green certificates,legal tender anywhere in the United Protectorates. And he has aboutas much backbone as a piece of steak alga. Kid, if I did not happen tohave experience otherwise with a small nephew, I would say this will belike taking candy from a baby."
Peri's peaches-and-cream countenance began to resemble peaches andcream left overnight on Pluto. "Badger?" she asked.
"Sure. You and Sam Wendt handle the routine. I will take the go-betweenangle, so he will think of me as still his friend, because I have otherplans for him too. But if we can't shake a million out of him for thisone night's work, there is something akilter. And your share of amillion is three hundred thirty-three—"
"Is five hundred thousand flat," said Peri. "Too bad I just got anawful headache and can't see Mr. Sastro tonight. Where you at, Gus?"