LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI, Part 8



BY MARK TWAIN





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TABLE OF CONTENTS


CHAPTER XXXVI.
The Professor Spins a Yarn.—An Enthusiast in Cattle.—He makes a
Proposition.—Loading Beeves at Acapulco.—He was n't Raised to it.
—He is Roped In.—His Dull Eyes Lit Up.—Four Aces, you Ass!
—He does n't Care for the Gores.

CHAPTER XXXVII.
A Terrible Disaster.—The "Gold Dust" explodes her Boilers.
—The End of a Good Man.

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Mr. Dickens has a Word.—Best Dwellings and their Furniture.—Albums
and Music.—Pantelettes and Conch-shells.—Sugar-candy Rabbits
and Photographs.—Horse-hair Sofas and Snuffers.—Rag Carpets
and Bridal Chambers.

CHAPTER XXXIX.
Rowdies and Beauty.—Ice as Jewelry.—Ice Manufacture.—More
Statistics.—Some Drummers.—Oleomargarine versus Butter.
—Olive Oil versus Cotton Seed.—The Answer was not Caught.
—A Terrific Episode.—A Sulphurous Canopy.—The Demons of War.
—The Terrible Gauntlet.

CHAPTER XL.
In Flowers, like a Bride.—A White-washed Castle.—A Southern
Prospectus.—Pretty Pictures.—An Alligator's Meal.











Chapter 36


The Professor's Yarn


IT was in the early days. I was not a college professor then.I was a humble-minded young land-surveyor, with the world beforeme—to survey, in case anybody wanted it done. I had a contractto survey a route for a great mining-ditch in California, and Iwas on my way thither, by sea—a three or four weeks' voyage.There were a good many passengers, but I had very little to sayto them; reading and dreaming were my passions, and I avoidedconversation in order to indulge these appetites. There werethree professional gamblers on board—rough, repulsive fellows. Inever had any talk with them, yet I could not help seeing themwith some frequency, for they gambled in an upper-deck stateroomevery day and night, and in my promenades I often had glimpses ofthem through their door, which stood a little ajar to let out thesurplus tobacco smoke and profanity. They were an evil andhateful presence, but I had to put up with it, of course,

There was one other passenger who fell under my eye a gooddeal, for he seemed determined to be friendly with me, and Icould not have gotte

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