The cover image was created by the transcriber, using the book'soriginal title page, and is placed in the public domain.
THE
MAD PRANKS
OF
TOM TRAM,
SON-IN-LAW TO MOTHER WINTER.
TO WHICH ARE ADDED
HIS MERRY JESTS, ODD CONCEITS,
AND
PLEASANT TALES:
BEING VERY DELIGHTFUL TO READ.
GLASGOW,
Printed by J. & M. ROBERTSON, Saltmarket,
MDCCCII
THE
MAD PRANKS
OF
TOM TRAM.
CHAP. I.
A merry Jest betwixt old MotherWinter, and her Son-in-law Tom.
There was an old woman, named Mother Winter, that had but oneson-in-law, and his name was Tom; and though he was at man'sestate, yet would do nothing but what he listed, which grievedhis old mother to the heart. Upon a time being in the market, sheheard a proclamation, That those that would not work should bewhipped. At which the old woman leap'd, and with great joy homeshe comes, meets with her son, and tells him the mayor of the town hadmade a decree, which was, That all those that would not work shouldbe whipped. Has he so, says he, marry, my blessing on his heart;for my part, I'll not break the decree. So the old woman left her son,and went again to the market; she was no sooner gone but her son looksinto the stone pots, which she kept small beer in: and when he sawthat the beer did not work, he [Pg 3]takes the pot, strips off his doublet, andwith a carter's whip he lays on them as hard as he could drive. Thepeople who saw him do it, told his mother what he had done; which madethe old woman cry out, O! that young knave will be hanged. So in thattone home she goes. Her son seeing her, came running and foaming atthe mouth to meet her, and told her, that he had broke both the pots;which made the old woman to say, O thou villain! what hast thou done?O mother, quoth he, you told me it was proclaimed, That all those thatwould not work, must be whipp'd; and I have often seen our pots work sohard, that they have foamed so much at the mouth, that they befouledall the house where they stood; but these two lazy knaves, said he,told me; That they did never work, nor never meant to work; andtherefore, quoth he, I have whipped them to death, to teach the rest oftheir fellow's to work, or never look me in the face again.
CHAP. II.
Another Jest of old Mother Winter,and her Son Tom.
Upon a time mother Winter sent her son Tom into the market, to buyher a penny worth of soap and gave him twelve-pence, and charged himto bring it home safe. Tom told her it should be so; and to [Pg 4]that endit should be safe brought home, according to his mother's charge, hegoes and buys one penny-worth of soap, and hired two men with a handbarrow to carry the soap, and four men with brown bills to guard i