THE FISHDOLLAR AFFAIR
BY R. M. McKENNA
With more courage than prudence, the ensign followed
his star to the final (and delectably feminine) test
of a young officer's honor.... A tender, ironic and
funny story, by a new name you'll be seeing again.
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, October 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Subspace cruising never bored Ensign Stephen Welnicki. The ship'scomputer rotated skew-quadro fields, inscrutably altering by threesthe twenty-seven positional variables—leaving the watch officer idle.Thoughts were to be had for the thinking.
Thoughts came unbidden to watch officer Welnicki. What if thenever-found alien intelligence, feared so absurdly in official policy,was subspatial? Weird things, eating mathematics, fighting withmusic. They'd attack ... Captain Kravitz and the others nerve-frozensomehow ... command of Galactic Patrol Ship Carlyle devolving uponEnsign Welnicki ... triumph ... muster at Prime Reference ... medal ofhonor....
Thoughts came unbidden to watch officer Welnicki.
His pale blue eyes gleamed and his short blond hair bristled even moreat the thought. His quartermaster broke in.
"That emigrant ship is a minute late calling in, sir. Shall I buzz it?"
"No. We are senior. I will reprimand her at five after."
That ship in synchro with Carlyle was S.S. Rubberjack, carryingtwelve hundred colonists and equipment to found a settlement on a yetnameless planet of Kappa-9 Carinae. From some democratic planet in Velasector, to be settled athwart an autocratic trend coming down fromColumba. Ensign Welnicki, aged twenty-four, was already helping makegalactic history.
G.P.S. Carlyle would stand by until the settlement was viable.Adventure ... a flyer forced down among nameless mountains ...hardships ... mineral deposits ... tremendous cliffs and chasms ...forever after, on the maps, the Welnicki Mountains....
"Five past, sir."
"Very well."
Ensign Welnicki brought his slight form erect and strode across tothe subspace voder, hardening his lips. Forestalling him, the lightblinked on and the neutral machine-voice said, "... Carlyle. S.S.Rubberjack calling G.P.S. Carlyle...."
The ensign pressed his transmitter bar and snapped, "Carlyle here. Goahead, Rubberjack."
Too bad there was no visual transmission in subspace, to carry hishawklike stare to that sloppy merchant officer. Too bad his crisp voicewould be wasted in the neutrality of Rubberjack's voder.
"This is Wendrew Fishdollar, President of the Republic of FishdollarFive," the voder said. "Our forces now control S.S. Rubberjack. Wewish to negotiate a standard treaty with the Galactic Patrol."
Welnicki's long, thin nose twitched in dismay. "What ... where isFishdollar Five?" he gasped. Are they human? his thoughts ran.
"Our present seat of government is in S.S. Rubberjack's tender,"the neutral voice replied. "We have seceded from the main body ofsettlers. We wish to arrange for settlement on a different