Garrity's Annuities
By DAVID MASON
Illustrated by RAY
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Science Fiction April 1956.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Every planet is badly in need of family men,
naturally—but the same one on all of them?
You might say Garrity brought it on himself. The way I put it, Garritywas the architect of his own disasters. It's a nicely put phrase, Ithink. Anyway, a lot of people tried to tell him what might happen. Idid, for one, though I'd never have thought it would happen in justthat way. What I would have predicted for Garrity would be trouble, butjust ordinary trouble: jail, or getting his Space Engineer's ticketsuspended, or something like that. Not the kind of trouble he's got.
I remember distinctly the first time I heard Garrity explaining histheory. It wasn't a new theory, but the way Garrity talked aboutit, you'd think he'd invented it personally. We were sitting in themessroom in the Aloha—that was the old Aloha, the one thatbelonged to the Muller Space Lines. Talking about women—trip likethat.
Neither Garrity nor I had ever touched down on Seranis, which was wherewe'd be in another week or so. The other off-watch man, Gloster, hadbeen there several times and liked the place.
"A lot of Earthside Oriental in 'em," Gloster said. "They're littlebrown characters, real obliging. The girls especially. You just treat'em polite and they'll treat you right back."
"Uh-huh," I said, considering the idea.
Garrity curled his long lip. "It'll cost you just as much in the end.Women are always looking for something."
"Not this kind on Seranis," Gloster said. "Best port I've ever been in.I'm staying on the Aloha till I get to putting curtains on my cabinport."
Garrity shook his head. He looked as cynical as he could, for his age,which was twenty-four. We were all of us fresh out of Lunar, with theink hardly dry on our Engineer tickets.
"I'll tell you," said Garrity. "I haven't seen a woman yet thatwouldn't cost you more than she was worth in the long run."
"Long run?" I asked him. "We don't spend more than a few days down onSeranis. Isn't going to be any long run. If she runs, let her tocatch her before takeoff time."
Gloster chuckled, but Garrity just looked righteous.
"You'll see what I mean," he told us.
"Yeah," Gloster said. "I guess you and me will go downtown and pick upa couple girls and take in some high-priced amusements, like listeningto records at the Spaceman's Union Lounge. After which we hurl ourhard-earned cash away on a quart of pink arrack and we take the girlshome with it. In the morning, we haven't got a credit left, so we blastoff with nothing but a set of beautiful memories." Gloster crowed."What's the matter, anyway, Garrity? The Union gets us the best wagescale in any space fleet and you still think girls cost too much? Eventhe Seranese?"
Garrity kept on looking wise. "I'm not kidding. I've seen a lot of mencome up to retirement without a credit put away. Half-pay and nothingelse, all because they spent everything having a good time."
"You can do without women, maybe?" I asked.
"No," Garrity admitted. "I'm a normal man."
"Yeah," said Gloster, very flat.
Garrity looked peeved. "Well, I am. But I'm careful, too. I figured itall out a long time back. I aim to have everything you guys loo