THE WORLD TURNED
UPSIDE DOWN.
London:
DEAN & SON, 160a, FLEET STREET, E.C.,
PUBLISHERS AND CHRISTMAS CARD MANUFACTURERS.
The Foolish Coat.
"To be beaten, and caned, and cuffed,and shaken, two or three times a-day,"cried he, whisking his tails about like anangry lion, "I say it's a shame."
"If you were not well thrashed," said theCane, "you'd soon get thick with dust,and then I'd like to know how you'd look."
"So I say," remarked the Hat.
"It's all very well for you to talk, Mr.Cane," said the Coat, still more in a rage."Nobody ever hits you, and if they did,you could hit back. And as for you, Mr.Hat, nobody ever thinks of punching you,except in fun. You have a nice softbrush all to yourself."
"Well, are you not brushed as well?"asked the Hat.
"I don't mind being brushed," said theCoat, "but the next time Mr. Valet comesalong, and hits me, I'll—I'll—" then hegrowled something to himself, whiskedhis tails, and added, "See if I don't."
In came the Valet, and bustled about.The Coat eyed him, and when he cameclose, caught him up with such a clutch.
"Hallo, hallo, hallo!" cried the Valet."What are you doing?"
But the Coat hung the Valet on anail, and snatched up the Cane.
"Now, look here, Mister Valet," saidhe. "I'm not going to be dusted andbeaten and thumped. I'm just going toshow you what it feels like, Mister Valet."
"What are you talking about, youstupid old Coat?" said the Valet.
"I'll let you see," said the Coat, flourishingthe Cane.
The Cane could not help himself, forhe was thin.
Thump, thump, thump, went the Coat,blowing out such clouds and clouds ofdust from the Valet's clothes, neverremembering he was covering himselfwith dust, and making himself lookshockingly shabby. The Valet called outas loud as he could for help, but nobodyheard him, and the Coat kept on thumpingtill his sleeves fairly ached. Then hedropped the Cane, fell on the dirty floor,and whisked his tails with great satisfaction.
The Cane jumped up, and lifted downthe Valet, who went off to his own room.
A few days after, the master came in,and looked at the Coat, which he hadmeant to wear at a jolly garden party.
"Oh," said he, "how dreadfully shabbythat Coat looks."
"Yes, sir," said the Valet, "he won'tallow himself to be brushed or dusted."
"Oh, won't he?" said the Master,"that's all very fine, but it won't do for me."So he seized the Cane, and gave the Coatone good thump. But such a cloud ofdust came out of the Coat that the Masterthrew down the Cane, and ran to the door.
"Oh," cried he, "I can't wear thatfrightful old thing any more. It isdisgracefully shabby and dusty. Sell itto the first 'ole clo'' man that comesalo