THREE MEN IN A BOAT
(to say nothing of thedog).
by
JEROME K. JEROME
authorof
“idle thoughts of an idlefellow,”
“stage land,” etc.
Illustrations by A. Frederics.
BRISTOL
J. W. Arrowsmith, 11 Quay Street
LONDON
Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co.Limited
1889
All rights reserved
PREFACE.
The chief beauty of this book lies not so much in itsliterary style, or in the extent and usefulness of theinformation it conveys, as in its simpletruthfulness. Its pages form the record of eventsthat really happened. All that has been done is tocolour them; and, for this, no extra chargehas been made. George and Harris and Montmorency arenot poetic ideals, but things of flesh andblood—especially George, who weighs about twelvestone. Other works may excel this in depth of thoughtand knowledge of human nature: other books may rival it inoriginality and size; but, for hopeless andincurable veracity, nothing yet discovered can surpassit. This, more than all its other charms,will, it is felt, make the volume precious inthe eye of the earnest reader; and will lend additionalweight to the lesson that the story teaches.
London, August, 1889.
CHAPTER I.
Three invalids.—Sufferings of George andHarris.—A victim to one hundred and seven fatalmaladies.—Useful prescriptions.—Cure for livercomplaint in children.—We agree that we are overworked, andneed rest.—A week on the rolling deep?—Georgesuggests the River.—Montmorency lodges anobjection.—Original motion carried by majority of three toone.
There were four of us—George, and William Samuel Harris,and myself, and Montmorency. We were sitting in my room,smoking, and talking about how bad we were—bad from amedical point of view I mean, of course.
We were all feeling seedy, and we were getting quite nervousabout it. Harris said he felt such extraordinary fits ofgiddiness come over him at times, that he hardly knew what he wasdoing; and then George said that he had fits of giddinesstoo, and hardly knew what he was doing. With me, itwas my liver that was out of order. I knew it was my liverthat was out of order, because I had just been reading a patentliver-pill circular, in which were detailed the various symptomsby which a man could tell when his liver was out of order. I had them all.
It is a most extr