TRANSIENT
BY WILLIAM HARRIS
The computer's answers were
remarkable—especially when
nobody had asked a question!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, September 1962.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
"Moon in 14° Pisces," said the little perforated card. Hendersonstepped back from the computer and scratched his hairy head. Nonsenseagain. He threw the card in the wastebasket and repeated his directionson another:
"One hundred fifty cancer susceptible mice were injected in thepectoral region with 1/cc of aromatic compound A. One hundred fiftyidentical control mice were injected with isotonic saline, B. Eight ingroup A developed sarcomas at the point of injection, Group B developednone. Test the null hypothesis at 5% level of statistical significance."
The computer accepted Henderson's second offering, chewed itinto acceptable code, swallowed it, and burped. Henderson watchedsuspiciously as red and green blinkers went on and off and a contentedhumming noise came from the machine's bowels. After a while the cardemerged from another opening—which orifice had been thoughtfullyplaced at the appropriate end of the machine, anatomically speaking;thus establishing rapport between Henderson, a biologist, and nature'sfinal product of evolution, the machine.
Henderson looked at the card: "Today you should seek solace with closefriends. Give some thought to personal finances. Evening: get out andsee people. A stranger will bring news."
Henderson crumpled the card and tossed it in the wastebasket. He satdown, and with a little arithmetic and some formulas tested the nullhypothesis all by himself. He found that his mouse experiment carriedno significance whatever. Then he made a notation that someone wouldhave to come out in the morning for his sick machine.
In the morning when the machine's doctor came to inspect it, andpercuss it, and auscult it, and give it a barium enema, it behaved verywell. The "doctor" left, assuring Henderson the machine merely had thehiccups. That night Henderson asked it a question about confidencelimits for a universe mean, from a mean of a sample of n observationsand got back, "Uranus on Antares but conjoining Jupiter and trining theAscendent. Yours is a strongly literary nature."
Henderson decided to turn the machine off for a few days. It emitted analmost human sigh as it ran down and came to a halt.
He had no immediate use for it as he would be injecting mice withcarcinogens in liver, spleen, marrow and kidneys to find out if theywere specific. In three or four days whatever virus was affectingthe machine's cerebral cortex should have run its course and themethodical Henderson could run his methodical observations into themachine, which would excrete a good methodical answer to be duly filedin the medical school library, where it would be invisible to anyonelooking for it, such as freshmen medical students, and always in theway for anybody else.
Henderson surveyed his laboratory with infinite pleasure, knowingthat it contained within its confines all that could be known aboutthe universe, about men and about mice. Event Y followed event X in apurely causal manner. The successful investigator needed only to attachhimself to the cycle and ride along, afterwards consulting the computerto find out if what he'd observed had any significance.
In the morning when Henderson entered the laboratory